Competition and Camaraderie

Unless you’re living under a rock, you’ve likely heard of the sitcom Friends, which centers around long-lasting friendships, despite numerous challenges (both funny and serious), within New York City. Well, that idea of forming and nurturing strong relationships with those around you– despite any odds tossed your way– goes beyond sitting down at a cafe and clapping in tune to the show’s theme song. 

It can apply to speech and debate as well. 

I know it sounds odd, but I promise you, there are some “Central Perks” to making friends and supporting others — even competitors — in your speech and debate circuit. 

But seriously, there are actually several benefits to both simply making friends and building a support system around you, especially in activities such as (but not limited to) speech and debate. In an article published by CSU Global, it discusses the numerous benefits of having such a support system (especially as a teen). 

“A strong support system has psychological and emotional benefits, from increased self-esteem to lowered blood pressure. Support systems also help students alleviate mental distress and increase their ability to cope with stressful situations.” 

Going even further than that, ThriveForLife elaborates on the matter within their article regarding the importance of support systems within these formative years that a lot of us compete during.

“Every single person needs a support system — no matter how big or small. Having one can benefit you in more ways than one, especially if you are undergoing major life changes and challenges. While you may be a very independent adolescent, not having a support system when you need one can harm you more than you may think. When you don't have somebody to support you then you can become withdrawn from social settings, you have no desire to reach out to people when you need help, and you begin self-isolating instead of seeking the help you need.” 

Children and teenagers who participate in sports, such as speech and debate, see additional benefits from making friends who are also part of this activity. Frontiers published an article all about ways in which peers matter to such activities, which provides insight into the value of such friendships. 

“Research shows that the more highly young athletes rate their sport friendships in these ways, the more likely they are to enjoy their participation, believe that they are competent at sport, and feel good about themselves. Athletes who rate their sports friendships more highly are also more motivated to participate because they want to, instead of feeling that they have to — which is a healthier form of motivation.” 

To that point, even becoming friends with competitors can boost your morale and wellbeing. The idea is that becoming friends with anyone you can will ultimately help you have a better experience on both your team and at tournaments. FHC Sports Report elaborates on this through their article on how sports and friendships go hand-in-hand.

“As long as you are in a sport, always remember how important it is to have these friendships. There is nothing worse than hating the sport because of the people, so always surround yourself with the good and kick the negative.” 

In order to fully thrive in speech and debate, forming those friendships and supportive bonds is a must. Chico State Today wrote about two speech and debate students, Marcus Peoples and Marin Spalding, who both have a very similar stance on the issue.

“As both students move towards different futures, they can both look back on their experience with speech and debate and agree the friendships they built are what stand out most. ‘The friends I made in speech and debate kind of became like a family,’ Spalding said. ‘If I’m having a tough time, they’re there to help me and pull me out of it. They are people that I want in my life and just want to have them there to cheer me on for whatever I accomplish next.’” 

So, now you may be wondering how to actually go about forming these friendships. How can we foster a welcoming, friendly speech and debate community? 

The answer is rather simple: talk to people. Make connections. You can start off simple by asking your fellow competitors or opponents where they’re from, or maybe take it further and then ask about their day and what they’re competing in– or just start things off with an unrelated icebreaker. Don’t be afraid to speak to people you haven’t met — for all you know, they could be having a bad day and need that nice socialization, or maybe they’re going to end up becoming one of your best friends.

The point is: you cannot go it alone, and neither can anyone else. One of the major appeals of speech and debate is the connections you can make and the friendships you can create between you and your fellow competitors. There are so many wonderful people to meet at each tournament, so why not take a break from the isolation and meet some of them? People need people, and Megan Davis of the Siegfried Blog wrote an article regarding our need for these people. 

“We need people in our lives. It’s a simple fact that we’ve all faced at one point or another. We simply cannot exist without other people. We need friends. Now, I’m not saying you need hundreds of friends or that you have to go out and make a whole bunch of new friends. I’m just saying that however you look at it, you need friends and you need to treasure the people in your life who are worth the effort. Because those people make a difference.” 

Trust me when I say that once you begin a habit of antisocial behaviors and isolation, it is a very difficult thing to break. To quote a season three episode of Bridgerton: “Once one finds oneself on the wall, it is difficult to come off it.”

Make conversation. Reach out to those in your circuit (or even beyond that, using the Equality in Forensics Discord. Make friends. That is one of the main draws of speech and debate to so many people. 

Don’t take this time for granted, it’s over before you know it. Spend time fostering speech and debate to be a more inclusive place for everyone by making some friends on this crazy adventure we call an extracurricular.